POEMANTEAUVILLE: Slithy in
Writhing
- battering pram--stroller with massive front bumper,
used to run through potential baby-knappers.
- monothesism--doctrine that one thesis statement can be
used to write any essay.
- Kobelisk--monument to be built at entry to new Forum in
memory of 21st century Jordan.
- Seinfield--A page of cryptographic Poe, signifying
nothing, adapted for television.
- orange-ou-tang--artificial fruit serum injected into
lab monkeys to induce human speech.
- pepigram--terse motivational witticism faxed by
aerobics instructors to lackadaisical class members.
- portmanteau sword--weapon used to slay Moebius
Dick, a legendary blank sheet of white paper with folds of
wrinkled skin. (Also known as a Moebius Stick, because it doubled
as a foldable prothesis which induced a habit of hopping around on
one leg.)
- subsliminal--an image that works below the slime
threshold, perceivable only by lower minds.
- squid pro quo--calamari compensation.
- neversmore--quoth the raven--barely--after too much
gooey dessert.
- Fishmael--storyteller prone to spouting one line
tales.
- satyre--writing that lampoons excessive lust.
- oscarab--award given annually to best story or
screenplay about beetles.
- demisurge--sudden rise in electric current that brought
Frankenstein to life.
- neonsense--Tres-L.A. postmodern style of ad-logical
language, full of inert hot air.
- diurinal--disposable bathroom fixture, built to last a
day.
- iamabic--ballpoint's proud declaration after inking a
footed line.
- metrognome--small subterranean creatures who make sure
subways run on time.
- Goregon--creature whose stare immobilizes the beholder
with boredom.
- Mindotaur--a human brain half full of bull.
- OEDipuss--cat that wants to kill its father so it can
read its mother's dictionary.
- shameffaced--blank expression formed when traces of
remorse are suppressed successfully.
- cateschism--mode of religious instruction where
successive questions are answered by secession.
- literary banalysis--boring interpretation of a
text.
- eclectricity--current that transmits neural signals in
scatterbrains.
- constripation--inability to express one's inner essence
in Oulipian styles.
- sinvincible--said of one who has successfully committed
every mortal sin.
- Achilles wheel--1. that one bad tire which costs
auto racer a win; 2. loss of fortune due to vulnerability to Vanna
watching, a susceptibility limited to particular body parts.
- stemiotics--study of plants for signs of growth.
- semirotics--analysis of half-suggestive images in
literature and advertising.
- semioticks--1. licentious authors who suck language of
its meaning; 2. clicking sound made by computer keys when students
analyze texts.
- semiotiscs--signs of mild admonishment for misspellings
teachers make by clicking the tongue.
- sewmiotics--study of embroidered signs in art and
literature (e.g. Bayeux tapestry or scarlet letter)
- synlapse--breakdown in neural signaling indicating
onset of senility
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