Here is some of what
convinced my neuropyschologist to give me the diagnosis of AS. Actually, if you
think about it, the first time I asked to get this diagnosis is this one. Other
visits were for dopamine concentrations in brain and depression. The first
visit was in 1992 and the second one was in 1995. It was in 1998 that I got the
diagnosis of AS.
The way this works is that my
mom had sent me some questions to the place where I was working during the
summer of '98. I was told to answer the questions the best way I could. These
responses were accurate responses for I had no knowledge of AS before
responding or any coaching on my mom's behalf.
Before submitting it to my
neuropsych, she filled in some of the questions with info that I could not
recall or to just explain some of my answers better.
* excellent rote memory
Michael: In preparing for tests, I would go through notes and
other materials and rewrite them over and over. I have been very good at
memorizing things after I see them in print or writing them down myself.
Mom: I remember Michael being able to memorize quickly
and easily: arithmetic tables, speeches, vocabulary, Spanish
*absorbs facts
easily
Michael: I have always been an inquisitive person and often
tried to learn more things than what was covered in school. This ability has
helped me a lot on tests. Once I see facts in written form or write them down
myself, I pretty much absorb the information easily.
Mom: We often tell Michael he is like a walking
encyclopedia or dictionary. He can recall amazing detail from years back-he
will hear a song on the radio and remember what movie it played in, what scene,
the actors in that scene, who was with us, etc.- even if it was 10 years ago.
This memory ability is selective, however. [From my child development studies,
the correct term is cued memory - Michael]
*Generally performs
well at math and science.
Michael: I tended to be more interested in these studies than
others. I am really good with numbers and applying them-applications and
formulas. In high school, I was involved with gifted classes in both science
and math.
Mom: On all the standardized tests, from primary school
on, Michael was in the 90+ percentile in both math and science. I remember an
incident in about third grade. Teacher put a 4-5 part arithmetic problem on the
board and turned around to ask the children to solve it. Michael was talking to
someone, and she called him back to attention. He said he was already finished.
Calling his bluff, she erased the formulas and asked him for both the formula
and answer, which he promptly produced. He can do complex sums in his head.
Some fictional stories he wrote around age 10 were loaded with precise numbers,
e.g., Sinbad in exploring the fire-sea around Venus caught 72 silver fish, 6
weighing 21 1/2 pounds, 2 weighing 36 pounds ... and so on.
*Generally anxious:
hard to cope with criticism or imperfection.
Michael: I tend to get very anxious when I have trouble doing
something. I have usually thought that I should be able to do things perfectly
when told how to do them.
Mom: I recall incidents from Michael's first-grade days
when he would go straight into his room after returning home, where he would
carefully use whiteout to correct any mistakes on his homework, then give
himself a 100 before putting the homework in the drawer. I assume it wasn't for
anyone else's benefit but his own, since I didn't even know for a while that he
was doing this. This theme has carried on throughout his life. He gets very nervous
and shaky when he thinks he's making mistakes, or when someone criticizes him.
*Can be victim of
teasing in school environment, causing withdrawal into isolated activities
Michael: In high school and before, people used to make fun
of my voice and of the way I sound. I have been pretty much a shy person. Any
involvement I had with activities was with a small group of people and limited.
During high school, however, I interacted with others--more so than after high
school. In earlier years, I kept to myself because of my eagerness to want to
learn. After being accepted into the gifted program I did seem more
interactive.
Mom: I know kids can be cruel, but Michael has been the
brunt of more than his share of teasing. He has been teased about his voice,
his ears (which used to protrude--"Dumbo" and "Michael Monkey
Ears" were some of the taunts). Kids used to call him "retard"
in early years, then teased him in high school years because of his
studiousness--stole his briefcase and hid it from him, swiped his pens and
pencils so he couldn't take notes in class, etc. In second grade he made
valentines for everyone in class, but only received one in return-a hate one.
About broke my heart. Again, this has been a repeated theme.
*May appear clumsy
and have unusual gait or stance; sometimes not well-coordinated or have trouble
with balance.
Michael: When I was little, I had trouble learning to ride a
bike, and even today my coordination affects me to some extent. I've had
trouble with standing up straight (slouching); when I'm aware of it, I usually
correct it, but sometimes it has been hard. I've had trouble with walking and
during high school I needed sports orthotics for running. In college, I needed
orthotics for wearing at all times.
Mom: Michael didn't learn to ride a bike until about 8 or
9 years of age. Even as a teenager and in college, he wrecked bikes by running
into things (walls, parked cars, and curbs). When we tried him out on the
riding mower, he couldn't work the brakes, so he just leaped off and let it run
into the woods to stop it. He has difficulty with mechanical operations, such
as working hand tools. Walks with a stiff, somewhat awkward gait; stoops over.
*May seem a bit odd
or eccentric.
Michael: I've always been told that I was a dreamer. I've
seemed to focus more on future things than present ones. My always wanting to
know more about things separated me from most others, except for those class of
people I would best represent (the intellectuals, not the "jocks",
"preppies" etc).
Mom: Michael has always seemed "different" from
other children. At kindergarten "graduation," when all the children
lined up to sing and gesture their little rehearsed numbers, Michael just
leaned up against the wall and watched everyone else, refusing to participate.
Again, a repeated motif in his life--always the one different from others,
separated from others, behavior, of rejection by others.
*Good language
skills (grammar, spelling, writing)
Michael: I've always done quite well with these skills. In
elementary school, people in my class became quite impressed with my spelling
ability. In 6th grade I took 5th place out of the whole school in spelling bee.
I've communicated best through my writing.
Mom: Michael has always performed and tested
exceptionally well with the mechanical parts of language. A junior high teacher
called him "The Grammarian." One year he had a perfect record on
spelling tests. Learning Spanish was easy--the grammar, vocabulary,
memorization, etc. Letters written to politicians have been extremely
sophisticated--such a contrast to spoken communication that it hardly seems
like the same person.
*May have difficulty
with language content, comprehension, expressing oneself.
Michael: I've had trouble expressing myself because of
difficulties in deciding what words to use. On standardized tests, I 've
usually had the most difficulty with these portions (comprehension) -such as
SAT, ACT, GRE.
Mom: Using example from earlier item--although Michael
can recall tiny details with great precision (as from movie seen 10 year ago),
he has great difficulty explaining the plot or meaning of that same movie or
even one that he's just seen. The reading for comprehension part of tests always
makes him confused and anxious, even though he may know the definition for all
the words, understand the sentence structure, etc. Stumbles easily in trying to
verbalize his thoughts. On SAT & GRE, got extremely high scores in math,
but had to retake the verbal & reading comprehension portion on the SAT up
to 5 times to get high score to get scholarships, etc.
*Difficulty with
"social understanding"-difficulty "reading" social situations
and interacting with other people.
Michael: I've always had trouble interpreting other persons
in terms of what is actually meant by what they are saying, and what I've
perceived them to be saying. My tendency to be literal minded causes me a lot
of misunderstanding of people. For example, I might perceive something as
normal talk, but the person is actually joking. This has sometimes caused me to
take offense and I try to avoid such encounters. Because of my difficulty in
expressing myself, I try to avoid having to do it whenever possible. Being a
shy person attributes a lot to this as well.
Mom: This issue, of course, is at the heart of the
problem for Michael as far back as I can remember. He has been the
quintessential loner--no "best friends" or buddies or pals much
beyond the few neighborhood friends in elementary school. The isolation
deepened until Michael began running track and cross country, at which point he
had somewhat of a social group with whom to associate--but always during the
activity itself mainly. This never extended to social time. Never had kids over
to the house, or was invited to theirs. Didn't date, except 2 or 3 somewhat
arranged outings.
*Attended ordinary
primary and secondary schools and was perceived to do well in school.
Michael: All throughout school, I had very decent grades. In
6th grade, I was placed into the gifted program, and thereafter took gifted
courses, which I did pretty good with. I graduated high school with a 4.23 and
college with 3.49.
Mom: Michael's teachers all perceived him to be a highly
intelligent, gifted student, an over achiever. Expectations were always very
high. He got scholarships to college and did well there too.
*Difficulty with
interpersonal communication causes many problems with employment.
Michael: My difficulty in expressing myself, or understanding
how something should be expressed, as well as viewing myself as needing to be
perfect and being afraid to admit mistakes kept me from interacting much. My
first year at Glacier Park, I started as a reservation clerk and ended up as a
kitchen assistant because of my becoming really agitated under stress. At Busch
Gardens, I started working behind the lines at FestHaus, but was moved to become
a floor attendant because I had trouble doing things under stress. At the Tampa
Tribune, I had trouble asking questions and admitting mistakes; tended to fix
them without anybody knowing.
Mom: There is a long history of getting jobs (or getting
interviews) based on written resume (looking well qualified & educated),
then having it come to nothing due to difficulties with interpersonal
communications. Another example is a political internship with a local
congressman, whose staff person wrote Michael that he couldn't work there due
to poor communication skills, A VISTA job was all but his until the interview
phase, after which Michael was told his communication skills were too weak for
placement in VISTA. He essentially had to leave the Tribune because of
difficulties communicating with supervisors and fellow employees.
*Preoccupation with
an area of interest or task (obsession, compulsion)
Michael: Making out lists involving statistics (lengths of
rivers, area sizes of countries, populations of countries, etc.). Keeping track
of movies or shows I've seen-obsession with things involving movies (actors,
actresses, scenes in movies, music from movies). Trying to fill up my yearbook
with as many signatures as possible.
Mom: The yearbook incident was indicative; Michael made
elaborate schedules of when students had classes, and which signatures to try
to solicit between which classes on specific days. He got very anxious when the
planned solicitation of signatures did not go as planned. On graduation day, he
still needed a dozen more signatures to complete his list. He completely
ignored his father (who had flown in for the occasion after not seeing him for years),
in order to track down the few who had not signed. Caused a big rift with his
dad, understandably. The lists have been a regular activity, occupying many
hours (from childhood to present). If it wasn't geography, it was the Olympics,
or politics, or movies, or dinosaurs. One preoccupation would replace another.
*Stereotyped and
repetitive motor mannerisms.
Michael: Picking at my fingernails, rubbing my finger against
my nose, rubbing my fingers together. Strange throbbing on my throat.
Mom: Michael does have some unusual twitches with his
throat muscles- in/out involuntarily, like the throat of a frog or lizard
showing off it colors. He has nervous habits with his hands. Also has an
involuntarily benign tremor which has no diagnosable organic cause (has been
checked by neurologist for epilepsy, diabetes, EEGs, etc.). This tremor makes
small motor coordination difficult (writing is almost impossible to read
clearly, difficulty wielding a screw driver, etc.).
*Hard to keep eye
contact.
Michael: Most of the time I have problems with eye contact
when I have trouble grasping someone's thought, or have trouble deciding how I
want to respond.
Mom: This is something very disconcerting to people in
conversation with Michael- his eyes wander everywhere but at the person
speaking to him. I've worked with him a great deal in this, and he has improved
significantly. But it's always a conscious effort.
*Prefers schedules,
rituals, routines--does not like things to change, or dealing with unexpected
events.
Michael: I am a very good at doing routine things. Sometimes
I had trouble doing things without making a schedule. It is hard to deal with
unexpected events of situations or talk about things at whim without having
thought them through them first or having knowledge of them.
Mom: Michael has always done his best when he worked out
a very detailed schedule of his plans--like preparing for exams, daily
routines, decision-making process. Things have to be outlined step by step in
some detail. Each year he has done better out at Glacier Park because the routine
is the same. New situations make him extremely anxious. When he was 4 in preschool,
he was asked to repeat the previous year's curriculum because they thought he
hadn't learned it. But he had remembered it verbatim and got extremely upset
when a teacher reversed 2 lesson plans from a year a whole year previous. He
gets upset and anxious if I say I'll be somewhere to pick him up at a certain
hour and am 3 minutes late.
*Finds it difficult
to express emotions, or to explain what/how you feel about things: hard to
exchange emotions with others.
Michael: This is mostly because of my difficulty in deciding
how best to express myself about how I am feeling. I might have felt afraid at
times to let certain emotions be shown based on how I would be perceived.
Mom: Michael seems "dead pan" a lot of times--a
more or less flat effect, even when the situation would call for an emotion to
be evoked/expressed, like the death of a pet, or his grandmother. Emotional
responses are limited to a few degrees on either side of "OK." He
occasionally rents a video he knows will evoke emotions or even make him cry
because he feels such a need for emotional release.
*Does not seek the
company of other people on a regular basis to share activities with--prefers to
do many things alone.
Michael: Mostly due to being a shy person and possible fear
of rejection of how people would react towards me. Most of activities were
during school years.
Mom: Michael has always been a loner. On hikes, he insisted
on walking either way ahead or way behind everyone else. When he got a Busch
Gardens pass in junior high, I offered to get 2 so he could invite another
along. He refused the offer, saying it would be too difficult to accommodate
someone else. The few times we had a playmate over, he was under great strain
and behaved rudely--on one occasion locking out the other kid out of the house
so he wouldn't have to accommodate him about which cartoons to watch. Goes to movies
alone, travels alone, ate alone in school cafeterias, etc. A major motif
throughout his life.
*Some delay in
learning language or some speech difficulties in childhood. Peculiar or unusual
voice characteristics.
Michael: Mostly I can remember is that I mumbled a lot.
Mom: We've had extensive diagnostic work done to
determine the cause of the mumbling. There is no structural defect--speech
therapist said the nasal speech may have started when Michael had
adenoid/asthma problems, but there was no reason he couldn't with practice
develop normal voice.
Michael was slow in language development. I remember working with him on enunciation at around age 3 & 4, and rewarding him with M&M s when he enunciated sounds correctly. His speech was very garbled--he clearly knew what he was saying and flew into frustrated rages when we couldn't understand what he was trying to communicate. We think now that chronic middle ear infections were to blame for much of this. Michael has a flat, unemotional, somewhat high and nasal speech. On the phone people often think they are talking to a woman, which insults him greatly. Not much inflection or variation. Speaks softly and still mumbles--often is asked to repeat a statement so someone can hear/understand what he's said.
*Very literal in use
of language-hard to understand symbolism and figurative use of language.
Michael: My literalness tends to cause me to misinterpret
meaning of things from what is actually meant and what I think is meant. I've
always had trouble with people joking around me because of this.
Mom: It's a standing joke between us about Michael's
literalness. Also, if you ask him to interpret sayings such as "rolling
stone gathers no moss," he's hard put to understand and explain it beyond
its literal meaning.
Michael: These responses are indicative of my childhood years
up to 1998, so a lot do not apply to me now for I have shown great improvement
over the years. My AS still bothers me but not nearly like what is described
here. Some of this is still a maybe.