ok... first things first ... settle in, this is kind of a long story ...

As we last left our heroes they innocently walked into a small bar, to drink and shoot pool, in Itter, Austria. If anyone could have been innocent walking into a bar with the aim of drinking beer and shooting pool, trust me, it was us! ...

So Pete and I walk into this little bar ... and I mean little. Barely enough room for two picnic table size seating areas, a small 4 person round table in the corner, 2 video games and the coin-operated pool table. The bar wasn't much bigger than the living room in my one bedroom apartment. We order two beers and get change for the table. We got through a game and a half before one of the two old men from the previously mentioned small table in the corner gets up and approaches me. He says in decent English, "your English is very good, what university did you attend."

Now at this point I'm thinking "Ok... because I LOOK Austrian." I mean next time you are there, take a look how many 6'4" black guys you see rolling around the country ... but I digress ...

Being the proud Bruin I am I reply "UCLA." Our friend says "Oh... California!" At that point I offer my hand in the western tradition of greeting. He lifts his hands as if to say No. Then he tells me "Us Austrians eat like cretins, with our hands. Let me wash first." In a few moments he returns and says "Come, when you are done with your appointment, come drink with me. On my tab." ... I of course say "Yes," not wanting to anger any locals.

I could see the headline in the Itter Gazzette: "American Tourist Insults Town Grandfather."

I walk over to Pete and explain what just happened. We are both of the opinion,"Crazy old guy, he must be out of his mind. No way is he buying us drinks." Just as we are discussing that very same point, the bartender comes over and says "What will you have?" "Excuse me?" I respond. He says, "He was serious. If you don't drink with him, he'll be offended." "Ok," I reply, "get us 2 more beers."

Side note: The beer in Austria, like Germany, is VERY VERY good.

After we are done playing (Pete would be pissed if I didn't mention he is the King of Austria Pool), we walk over and sit down. We introduce ourselves. Ludwig was the man I conversed with on his way to the restroom and his friend (who's name neither Pete or I can remember). They are drinking wine ... and apparently have gone through quite a few bottles as well as cigarettes. The bartender joins us for drinks and to act as an interpreter. We talk for a while about nothing particular ... our trip, where we are from, how much Austria we've seen, how long we are staying ... when Ludwig turns to me and says "You are ... umm.. my English not so good, but in French ... a 'charm-air'."

Well, what he is trying to ask is if I'm a 'charmer' ... initially I was taken aback ... I'm thinking ... "Yo old guy, I don't swing that way."

He then says, "You are good with women yes? My wife, she has been waiting for child for 21 years. I cannot take care of this any more ... can you take care of it for me?"

Right now you're thinking "WHAT???" ... yeah, so was I.

I of course say "Well, I can tell, you are <pause> a 'charm-air' too!" We all laugh, no harm done. Regardless, no one can deny that was pretty odd. We talk for a while longer when Ludwig makes the same reference to his wife. His friend, seeing the look on our faces is laughing out loud and says "Ludwig is ..." <says something in German to the bartender> and raises his two index fingers to his temples, wiggles them with a huge smile on his face as our bartender says "He calls him a 'little devil.'"

We have to be up early ... and frankly, I'm a little uncomfortable. So I relate we need to leave. The bartender asks, where we were going next, to which we replied Italy. He tells us to wait, he has something special. He goes behind the bar, shuffles some stuff around and comes back with five shot glasses, and a hand blown decanter with a little glass skier in the bottom and this very clear liqour. He says "This is Grappa from Italy. In honor of your trip and this evening." He slowly pours each glass, we all lift to toast and drink. Ludwig and his friend slowly, the bartender fast ... and Pete and I fast as well.

Up to that point in my life ... that was the toughest drink of alcohol I'd ever had. (To read about the toughest drink a few days later, click here) How I didn't completely lose it was a matter of pride and stubbornness.

Before we leave, Ludwig asks me to address a postcard from Itter to my girlfriend. After our conversation, I didn't have the heart to tell him I didn't have a girlfriend at the time, so I addressed it to my best friend (female) in the states. He writes something in German and has the bartender translate. Roughly this is what he wrote: "We are a group of men, thinking about our loved ones from far away."

Yeah, pretty odd.

Well, we leave the bar and go back to our hotel's bar. (I don't know ... maybe we needed to wind down with more beer!) We tell our tour leader Don who asks our hotel bartender about Ludwig. He says, yes, he's the old man of the village, he lost his wife a couple years ago.

So the whole thing about his wife, and not having kids, Drinking and thinking about our loved ones was we had stumbled across him on the night he was remembering his wife. He chose to let two foreign guys sit in, laugh and remember with him ... even if we didn't know what we were getting into.

GO BACK TO AUSTRIA HOME HERE.